Le French Fashion: Reem-yon It Up This Fall

“Fashion has two purposes: comfort and love. Beauty comes when fashion succeeds.”
—Coco

I am not a “fashion journalist.” If there’s one thing I know about myself, it’s that I am not a writer of style/fashion. I know right, so uncool. At least there’s one thing I do know about myself as a journalist/writer (woohoo!) It’s a shame, however, that not only do I not identify myself as a fashion writer, but I also refuse to “teach” myself to be a fashion writer. Because guess what? There’s A LOT of jobs out there that are for fashion journalism—and I just don’t want any of them. I don’t know what it is; maybe it’s the fact that I wanted to be a “fashion designer” in 7th grade, maybe because I’ve never sewed more than two things in my life, or maybe it’s cause writing about style, colors, and outfits just don’t fuel my fire.

However, if there’s one thing I do know it’s that the French are beautiful, skinny, and smelly. And they gave us Lady Liberty and are also named after one of America’s most delicious fried foods. With that historical information, I’m now going to try something new. I’m going to write a “style” post for the first time in mi vida. But, be warned mi amigos, this is unconventional, irrational, and will probably be exactly what you’re not looking for. 

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The perfect up-do: the Chignon.
The Chignon bun is an easy, classic way to let everyone see your beautiful, acne-free skin. And when you catch a handsome man staring at it, you can tell him you’re a little French up there (or down there, if you prefer, jk). No, I don’t mean your tongue is French, but your hurrr is. The up-do not only allows you to not wash your hair for weeks, but also makes an intimidating statement when there is a circular ball sitting somewhere on your head.

There’s many different hair buns out there: the ballerina, the BIG hair donut bun, and the Chignon which usually sits at the back of your head. However, if you really want to make a serious fashion statement, you can flavor your Chignon up with some Middle-Eastern/Indian spices. My cousin, Reem, who is an EX-FIT student, has worked (and made a lot of $$) for Italian designer Salvatore Ferragamo, flavors her Chignon. So, since I don’t have much fashion advice for anyone and my cousin does not enjoy writing— I will become her fashion ghost writer.

You don’t have to wash your hair (ever) with the Reem-yon. It matches every outfit and lets you look rigorous and classy all at the same damn time. The Reem-yon may not be the conventional one that sits at the back of your head, but who wants conventionality in 2012 anyways?

A clean, circular bun sitting on top of your head whether you’re grooming …

eating life-size cannolis …

Or drinking homemade Sangria on 4th of July …

THINGS YOU’LL NEED & STEPS:

• Hair
• Hands
• Upper body strength
• Pain tolerance
• Scrunchies
• Mirror
• Septum piercing if you want to look even more intimidating
• A confidante who will constantly compliment you on the circular body of hair sitting on top of your head.

1. Get hair.
2. Tie in ponytail.
3. Twist really hard.
4. Bring to top of head.
5. Turn in circular motion.
6. Tie circular bun with scrunchies.
7. Leave house looking gorgeous.

My attempt at the Reem-yon. Big & Beautiful?

—Happy Frenching ladies!